Where life was oh so simple...

Back in the hay days when time was in my control and minutes were minute portions of pain... Waking up not knowing what to do, what to expect, where to go, what to eat, who to meet...
And going to sleep not worrying about what would unfold before me the next day...
In my own world, content and happy, taking walks, jogs, bicycle rides, laying down whenever my feet and heart told me too...having random thoughts and having myself to share my dreams... When life was not stringent and planned. Staring at the ceiling fan, plucking the strings of my life the way i liked it, wearing what i cared about and never taking anything heard or said to heart... The days seeing everyone seem to know what is going on, seem to be going in a direction they knew they wanted and not knowing or even caring about anything... Days when i would wake up and make music from sun rise to sun set not caring if i had food or human contact and still being satisfied just being by myself... Selfish and conceited... Knowing i never had to find love for i was always loved and even if i wasn't i was loving and that was all that mattered... Sitting in a corner scribbling names of loved ones everywhere i could... even the dirt on the window and the inside of my pencil case...on every page of my textbook...on people's tables...engraving names and doodling on my desk till i was ordered by the principal to scrub it clean...not being able to and swapping desk with another class just to get out of trouble and then doing it all again till everyone gave up... Playing the starring game with complete strangers and not going to work just having made a friend, exchanging priced possessions with a complete stranger... going to the safe place and sitting in church alone wondering if she'd turn up... getting out of school because she said she was sick and wanted me beside her... Laying a kiss on the beach, on the sand under the gorgeous starry night, crossing the road and sitting in the middle of it when the lights were red and seeing the expressions of people... fighting in a toilet alongside my buddies and laughing from the bruises and cuts... getting our hair dyed and ears pierced in public toilets, smashing my knuckles into walls till they bled, roof top rendevous, holding my breathe in the water and getting a high out of it, watching TV knowing an assignment was due, having a 'silent' week, not speaking a word to anyone, house painting everynow and then, sleeping at the playground having been locked out of the house, having ridiculous chats with buddies about what we would do if we had a million dollars... jamming with my buddies at the void deck...carving a cross into my skin with a needle...falling down from a cliff and not being able to breathe...jumping into a quary while school was still going on...night swims with a loved one, body painting sessions...those were the days...

oh so simple...