Another week passes...

Another week passes... another phase begins...
It's the long weekend i've been waiting for...

Thu - No fly day
Fri - Safety Standown
Sat/Sun - Weekend
Mon - Memorial Day Holiday
Tue - Not on schedule

Did a lot of stuff yesterday. Vacuumed the house, cleaned the kitchen, played soccer, did very well for my simulator event but failed it due to a major dick up on the initial point leg...sianz but it was a good flight, i enjoy doing composite flights so much more than the strike flights the last week. I think i'm getting the hang of it. Completed a draft recording of a song i recently wrote. Put hymns into my thumb drive and have been listening to it in my car on the way to work daily. Lost 5lbs...finally...

Her birthday just past and got her a little something...hope she likes it...She seems pretty caught up in her thoughts these days. Hope all is doing well for her. I think i fit her better as a buddy and confidante than as a lover. Still so far away, still confused, still wondering how things would turn out when i go back. For now, i like the conversations we have, very real, very down to earth...Talked to mummy about Ricky's birthday celebration...went fishing over the weekend...did a couple of sims, cleared my strike flights finally and also caught the latest episode of smallville...dreams of being a 'robin hood' hero are still there...

Thought about days back in Boys' Town Home and my buddies...Really hope that they are all doing well...Thought about going back when i return, getting the boys dinner or something...Miss the days when life was carefree, running around all the time, having gamestime, circuit training, studying with my buddies and drawing and writing to get by time, jamming in the jamming room, hiding to smoke, climbing to the roof, paging girls and talking to them while crouching in a corner of the dormitory, jumping off the veranda, doing our daily pull up competition, lining up for dinner, sitting at the grotto and having my alone time...Fighting/Initiating the new guys...blanket parties, elbows forward, elbows down, waking everyone up to the sounds of a local radio station, playing music during games time in the Radio Boys' Town room...going to the gym not to train but to see who could carry the heaviest weights...going to disneyfest and confronting the gang over there as a group...stepping onto an aircraft carrier, having the navy guys over to help touch up boys town and play for us good music...memories that bring a smile to my face anytime i am down...Days of adolescence

Thought about my childhood, living with the nice people who took care of me, having to come back to 6 other siblings, playing in the inflated pool in the kitchen, sliding across the recently mopped floor, volunteering to mop so that we could add some detergent to make the floor more slippery, jumping into clothes that just came out of the dryer, warm and comfortable, fighting with my siblings, serving in church as an alterboy, playing soccer behind the church, going for camps ever so frequent, leading the little scouts, campfires, falling in love...going to malaysia with my uncle and family...taking those long walks home from Assumption Primary and St Anthony's with my buddy Adrian...catching tadpoles and little fishes in the canal, going to MacRitchie to fish....trekking in Bukit Timah hill, learning to play the guitar, having late night campfires in church and star gazing, realising how huge the world is...learning about the stars...learning about God, learning about the female species, having my first kiss...and having a spinning headache after...got caught and couldn't go anywhere because i was so stunned, happy and 'high'...having have her pull me and run from the security guy...having my first stay over and getting drunk...laying in bed with a girl for the first time...not knowing what the hell to be thinking, being just happy to be loved and be in love...growing up...i miss those days...

Then there are those soccer days, basketball days, bicycle days, skateboard days, bladding days...I always think i had a pretty sad childhood...but looking back i cannot be more contented with the way life has gone for me, though there were more fuck ups and heart breaking moments...i lived...not even knowing that i was living...Now, like before, i wonder why life seems so monotonous and it seems to be losing its meaning...but i want to look back 10, 20 years from now, with my loved one in my arms, looking back at my life and knowing i lived...and share with her my past, live with her the present and plan with her our future...for now, i am going to stop looking ahead as i have been all along and live my life for now...live my life for me...

I miss home, i miss my past, i miss everything i was trying so hard to get away from...i miss my brothers...the best thing that happened to me...and though i know i've been to much of a sinner to be a priest...if he calls...i am here...for my life is in his hands and his will be done always...

Siempre Insemis Angie Divisi...

My past and i...."always together even though apart"

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