Late again...

i know, i know...i'm a couple of days late and i said i would be consistant...well, been really busy...

first, i'll be going to Las Vegas tomorrow for a cross country (which is considered training time here) and will be there for the weekend...and then on the 14th of Apr, i was intending to go to LA but i guess things have changed there...may be going to NY instead and meeting a buddy there. Good thing is i had a contingency plan and one must always, ALWAYS have one cos...as murphy says...SHIT HAPPENS!

At first, i was kinda dissapointed and sad that i wasn't going to LA but now i think of it as maybe HE knows it is not the right time, or she's not the right one...so as he pleases...and weird thing about it is lately at night i have been praying hard for 'his will be done, not mine' and then this happens...what a sign...

I've been trugging though my flights lately, am a little bit rusty from not flying for a while...but so far, no major fuck ups as yet...so really pray that all things goes well and i finish up soon. I cannot wait to go back and get all the shit into place...

I was told that i have a big heart and that that's the reason i fall in love so easily...or moreso that's why i can love more than a normal individual...hmm...i buy that...but i guess when i think about it more i realise that the most important person in my life is my mum and if a girl cannot accept my mum living with me than too bad ...cos she's my number one cos all this while when the shit kept hitting the fan, i've been hers...call it oedipus complex or whatever you may, i don't really care...i call it being filial...of cos at times i think about moving away with the one i love and starting life anew...but think about it...the past does make the future present...

I miss my siblings and i wonder what they are up to on a daily basis, and i hope they think of me too...i really hope i am not missing out much on their lives and that when i return things will be back to normal and it will be like i never was away...i hope...let's start, Jie's in New Zealand working, ErJie is in her own world and getting a number 3 soon...and still in contact with my dad...which pisses me off big time, SanJie is planning to go to the UK, i think and i'm not sure but i pray she has a full time job now and supports mum, Rel's in Belgium studying and living the life i've always wanted...seeing the world experiencing new things...well, think of it...i am doing that too...just not the same way...Ricky went to Sispec and all i pray for him is to be happy and to find out soon what he wants to do for a career...Rome's a TP and saving up for his diploma. I pray God be with all my siblings and when they make decisions in life...esp the youngest two.

There are so many things for me to do back home and the more i think about it i realise the longer i stay here the more there is for me to do when i return. And then there is also talks that Malaysia wants to declare itself a muslim country...hmm...i really hope i will never get to use what i am learning here....esp when i get back and it's no longer a T-6A Texan, or T-39 Sabreliner, or a T-2 but a F-16D block 60...with the AIM 7 Sparrow, AIM 9 Sidewinder, AIM 120 AMRAAM, AGM 84 HARPOON & 88 HARM, PYTHON 4 and with the DASH 3...damn, that would not be a good day...

Well, let's just hope i never get to use it...for now...Wings of Gold...till next time...take good care people....ciaoz

JErmz