Saturday, February 18, 2006

On to VT-86 Advance Syllabus...

Finally...I've completed my intermediate phase and leaving VT-4 Warbucks Squadron for VT-86 Sabrehawks. Having accomplished my intermediate phase is by no means an easy task. Lots of late nights and very early mornings...but I hear it only gets worse from here...Watched a couple of very good movies this week, (memoirs of a geisha, Donnie darko, the butterfly effect and Munich) got the book 'memoirs of a geisha' and have been reading it...never really understood the joys of reading but with this book I really got sucked into it, much like I did with "the notebook" and now I’m beginning to really like reading...it's kinda like a getaway for me....well, watching 'Munich' tonight was really an eye-opener for me as well...with 'black September', 'the Munich massacre' and the 'never ending war between the Palestine and Israel'...very interesting indeed and very hard to explain...so...go watch it...though it's like 2 plus hours long...have in mind that it's a true story...it's really worth the time...so here's abit about it...taken from WIKIPEDIA.com...where you can find anything about everything...really resourceful site...

The Munich massacre occurred during the 1972 Summer Olympics in Munich, Germany, when members of the Israeli Olympic team were taken hostage by the Palestinian terrorist organization Black September – a group within Yasser Arafat's Fatah organization. The kidnappers eventually murdered 11 Israeli athletes, nine of them during the botched German rescue attempt, and one German police officer. Five of the eight kidnappers were also killed by police during the rescue attempt, with the three captured surviving kidnappers later being released by Germany following the hijacking of a Lufthansa airliner. In response to the attack, Israel planned and carried out the assassination of a number of individuals who were said to have been responsible. Although it was believed that two of the three surviving kidnappers were killed as part of these reprisals, some recent evidence appears to indicate otherwise. Simon Reeve wrote that the Munich massacre was one of the most significant terror attacks of recent times, one that "thrust the Palestinian cause into the world spotlight, set the tone for decades of conflict in the Middle East, and launched a new era of international terrorism.

Does moving on in life necessarily mean leaving behind people or things? Does holding on to what is deemed to be past, not moving forward? Why do people hold on to things so tightly even when it is told to be wrong?

People tend to loose themselves, the meaning of their being whenever they "move forward" in life. They give up or should I say sacrifice happiness for they is told to them to be the right thing to do, the way to find true happiness...but frankly, who really does know? Even having been through a lot in life, I am still in no position or authority to make things right for another...because everyone faces life differently, life changes and reacting or behaving in a certain way may not forever and always be the right way. Adaptability and spontaneity is the only way one will find himself and the way of life which is his own, uniquely his/hers. This is not to say - give up your religion or do not listen to your elders - but more of 'with the grace and guidance of our lord, and using the gifts he has given to us-individual, different, unique gifts - and also having advice from others (taken with a pinch of salt) will help in your growth as an individual’s - this is very different from "listen to what I have to say and do as I do because I’ve been through it and my way is the gospel truth..."

So for me, self realizing that, yes, at times you have to 'sacrifice' parts of your past to move on, but, holding on to certain things in your past makes you who you are and gives you some meaning to what you are. There is no right or wrong answer to what you can or cannot do but more so, at times holding on tightly to what you know is part of what makes you, is an individual's choice. A choice that only you and you alone can make. Let no other tell you what you must or mustn't do but have your principles, morals and believes in the right place, paving your own path is most definitely the way to go. Do not try to be another, to be what you're not...aspirations are good self-building helping tools but they should never be 'goals in life'. You should in simple words - BE YOURSELF!

Having seen the movie MUNICH, I realize many people are killing and dying and even changing for a cause that is not their own...they have been told & manipulated to believe that this is what is good for them, their future...sadly enough..this is all bull...

Today, I’ve come to see that with the pressures of everyday life and the stressors at home and work...being true to what I am is really the only true and happy way I should and must live my life. For long enough have I been listening to others - though sometimes I take longer to react - but still, this should be my life and I should be living it my way...and people should not worry about decisions I make or things I do because with God as my guide, mistakes are all but a learning process and even if I have to fall a million times...it is only for me to grow up, to be stronger...having pillows cushion every fall does not make me a man...it is the hard knocks that make who I want to be and who I almost am...let me fall if I have to and do not lend a helping hand...I can stand up again and walk tall for I have him by my side...

you may think you know what is good for me and what I want...but sit back and think again...if is it really all about you and how you would feel or be...then really...it's not about me, is it?

Another week passes...a few more questions answered, a few more inches of eye opening, a few more steps to being me...to being happy...

Sunday, February 12, 2006

The Vows We Take...

Every year when 1st of January comes knocking on my door...i take a couple of steps back and look back on the year i've had...i make a list of the things i want to change about me, how i've behaved, what i want to achieve...manyatimes i find myself going back on the same old list of things year in and year out...have i not taken that step forward?

Do i not take my resolutions seriously enough? Am i not a man of my word? I guess i really got to pen down the list in BLACK AND WHITE and stick by it, ticking it off everytime i accomplish one till it becomes instilled in me...it becomes second nature...i'll get back to that in just a second...a thought has hit me...

Many people take the vow of marriage simply without thinking about it thoroughly, i for one have fallen into that trap before...

here comes the best part of it all...it's hard to explain...so let me give you a scenerio.."when you love someone, you should be unselfish enough to give them what they want..." Who the hell knows what the other wants? I have told another before that i will take 2 steps back so she can move on and be happy...and now i know...she wasn't...but her life turned out much better...and i know for a fact...than it would have been if i had stayed... i thought all along i was being unselfish and it was "all for the better" and it is for the better...but she tells me i was being selfish...not thinking for her...how can being so unselfish be so selfish?...now wanting her back seems selfish...

maybe, i thought i had let go...maybe i really haven't..i have been holding on to a dream that will never come true...this time i will hurt her even more...and i would be tearing up my heart into pieces but i know...and i know she knows it too...we can never be...not in this lifetime, we're not meant to be...i never wanted to let go this time...but she has taken the few steps back and i have seen it clearly...i will now move on...both in life and in my original intended subject...

Love and Cherish, keep, honour and protect...
Forsake all others to be loyal...
To have and to hold in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, till DEATH do you part...

Why is it that these days people take these words so lightly...make a vow before God only to do things to test the bond, to test the love, to make it difficult for the other to carry out his/her duties as a husband/wife? Do they not know that when the words : "What God has put together, let NO man put a sunder!" are being said, it is also meant for them...people always think of it as another 'third' party who will come between them but few really see that most of the time it is the other person in the relationship who is "putting all the sunders"

as for my resolutions...
1) QUIT SMOKING
2) BE MORE ORGANISED - more often morning and night prayers...
3) DRINK AND EAT LESS
4) GO TO THE GYM AND SWIM MORE
5) LEARN SOMETHING NEW - saxaphone?
6) TALK LESS, LISTEN MORE
7) SAVE MORE MONEY, SPEND LESS

and when i get home
8)SPEND MORE TIME WITH MY FAMILY
9) DO UP THE ROOM
10) MAKE MASS A WEEKLY "FAMILY" THING - initiate...
11) AND GO OUT FOR A GOOD WEEKLY FAMILY DINNER
12) GET A DOG, RIDE MY BIKES(BOTH), PLAY TENNIS, EXERCISE

now, i will strive to make all my plans workout, fall in love, go to the beach, be spontaneous, and smile....

"if you can touch the horizon, you're near your journey's end..."

Friday, February 10, 2006

...gnilims llits

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky you'll get by

If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile, and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear maybe ever so near

That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use in crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just smile

That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use in crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just smile

Sunday, February 05, 2006



Raja/Brothers/St.Marys/OCS


Those were the days...

5th FEB 2006 - Sunday

This is what happens when you are bored from studying and decide to take a 5 min break...hahaha!





Friday, February 03, 2006

Welcome to wherever you are

Here's what motivates me...a preview to my future office...the F-16 C/D block 60 fighting falcons of the RSAF!



This week has been one helluva week...So much studying and planning and flying done...can't wait to finish up my intermediate phase and go on to advance...6 more flights to go...then i'm off to VT-86...for now i'm just enjoying my flights, playing the guitar and singing again...getting my life together again...hopefully...

well, this week has been all about flying but everyday while driving back home i always listen to the one and only rocker of the century - Mr Jon Bon Jovi...and this song struck a beat with me...going to learn how to play and sing it cos it just makes so much sense...read the words to the song...you'll know what i mean...

Welcome To Wherever You Are
Maybe we're different, but we're still the same
We all got the blood of Eden, running through our veins
I know sometimes it's hard for you to see
You come between just who you are and who you wanna be
If you feel alone, and lost and need a friend
Remember every new beginning, is some beginning's end
Welcome to wherever you are
This is your life, you made it this far
Welcome, you gotta believe
That right here right now, you're exactly where you're supposed to be
Welcome, to wherever you are

When everybody's in, and you're left out
And you feel your drowning, in a shadow of a doubt
Everyone's a miracle in their own way
Just listen to yourself, not what other people say
When it seems you're lost, alone and feeling down
Remember everybody's different
Just take a look around
Welcome to wherever you are
This is your life, you made it this far
Welcome, you gotta believe
That right here right now, you're exactly where you're supposed to be
Welcome, to wherever you are

Be who you want to, be who you are
Everyones a hero, everyones a star
When you wanna give up, and your hearts about to break
Remember that you're perfect, God makes no mistakes
REMEMBER THAT YOU"RE PERFECT! GOD MAKES NO MISTAKES!