This chapter of my life is coming to a close...

A couple of months before i came over, i decided it would be a good idea to keep a journal/log book on how my life has changed and the events that took place...

There have been many good times and numerous bad ones but i must say, this has indeed been a interesting ride...To all i have offended or bitched about...I am truly sorry and though you may never get a chance to read this...if i have been a jerk to you, I am sincerely apologetic...

As i approach the end of my stay here...so must the blogging come to an end...So i have decided that this will be my last blog...at least for this blog, my very first blogging experience that i will read every now and then and have laughs and tears as i do...

Ever had a mix of feelings so intense you have no idea what the fuck is going on...well, no i am there...and i don't want to talk about it...I, like many others, am filled with flaws and rough edges that somehow in this phase of life i have somehow smoothen out or made even sharper...and i don't really care because this is me and i like it this way...live with it...I am not going to change for any random person...I've found out that i am actually a very quiet soul...a person who feels too much about too many things and most importantly i am a family person more than anything else...i am proud, boastful, sacastic but yet i am quiet and to myself most of the time...

Today i am happy for another, happy for myself, happy to have made this trip...but i am ready now from this retreat to return home and be me...This trip, for me, was a get away, was a get to know myself, was ... a retreat more than anything else...I have kept my eyes open to the people, the life and shut my mouth for as long as i can...whenever i can...and in this process, i have found myself...I have been dependant on many...now, and when i was in the jungles of brunei....i know i do not need anyone to get through this life....it would be nice though if i can find the one...

I've realised how much pain i have caused many, how insensitive i've been, and how unfilial i was....these i will change...the first step into Singapore soil will be one that will be life changing...

when anyone asks me what i did in Pensacola...my reply would be....

"I found myself!"

Tears of pain, joy and hope....

JERMZ - for the last time...

The yellowbook is now closed...happily ever after...