Somehow...

...i know you're reading this...

...i know that you're praying for me...

...i know that you care...

...i care for you too...

...you know who you are...

...and i know you...

...thank you...

...really...

...thank you...

You are always in my prayers...and you have my love....always!


Jermz

You don't care, you don't know...
I close the door and shut the window...
Cos no one listens anymore...
No one listens anymore...

I crouch in the corner and hug my knees...
Can anyone out there hear my pleas...
My tears they burn, my eyes are sore...
Cos no one listens anymore...

Cos you don't know what it's like...
To cry in the rain...
Hold my heart in your hands...
Baby, can you feel the pain...

I hold your hand but you're not there...
Into your empty eyes i stare...
All my feelings i can pour...
But you don't listen anymore...

Cos you don't know what it's like...
To cry in the rain...
Hold my heart in your hands...
Baby, can you feel the pain...

I can speak to the world...
And no one will care...
I've made up my mind...
I'll always be there...

But you don't know what it's like...
To cry in the rain...
You can tell me you that hate me...
But Baby, I don't feel the same...

Baby, can you feel the pain...

She called...

This week less words...

She Called!!

I'm Very Happy she did!!

and i realised...

He who measures his worth by what he has accomplished is proud and selfish...SHUN

He who measures his worth by what his friends see him as is foolish and pathetic...PITY

He who measures his worth by what he is in the eyes of GOD is wise and always happy...FOLLOW!

I love so i am...

Jermz - A month and 4 days to go...if it be his will...

The Girl Behind The Guitar...

Sharon's in beijing this weekend...hope she's having fun! Argh...anyways...

Is there anything hotter than a girl in aviators...behind a guitar? haha well, had the whole weekend to study but didn't really get quite down to it till like about...in an hour's time...so...figured out Yellow by coldplay...finally...and then it reminded me of times at walaS years ago just sitting there drinking beer and seeing Shirlyn play..."boy! that chick is really hot..." and i couldn't help but kept going back just to "listen to music"...well, i was...went back over the Xmas hols and went there for my bday and couldn't help but notice how much HASN'T changed...i still think she's cute behind that guitar (any gal for that matter), still thinks she has a great voice...anyways...found out she's doing pretty well back home and am really glad to know that at least one of us has the balls to venture into the SINGAPORE MUSIC INDUSTRY...which is pretty much non-existant...but heck...she did it...still climbing that ladder she's making all by herself...UnXpected! Amazing that you guys have stayed together all these years...missed jamming with my buddies in the old days and hugging my guitar to sleep, playing it in the dark...knowing that i wouldn't make it...well, Kudos to you guys...all the best...

And Miss Shirlyn Tan...JERMAINE IS A GUY'S NAME!!!!

Hmm...Sharon must be having a balluva time in beijing...She hasn't called...yet...i hope...arghh...

Need to chair fly...mental flying...Emergency procedures....arghh...

Take me home...to a place i know is safe...take me home

Jermz

Things we take for granted...

You know how when you drive and you just know the speed you're driving at just by the quick glances you take at the speedometer...and how you somehow just know that a decision you've made is the right one way before you understand why...and how when you lay in bed and think of that someone, you somehow know that that someone is thinking of you too...and how when you need to pee in the middle of the night, you can somehow just find your way to the toilet and go...how when you press the strings on a guitar, your other hand just knows which strings to pluck...

Memory...

Unknowingly, after doing some things so many times over, you don't have to think about it and you just know how to do it and how it's done...like eating, breathing, smiling...etc...yes evening thinking about someone and knowing you're thought of too...The sad truth to it all is that after awhile this 'ought to know' second nature disintegrates...

There was a man who had an accident and lost his memory retaining ability...he would cry not knowing where he was and what he was doing...but he would still always ask for his mother even though she had passed away...and this is because, i think, somehow everyone knows deep down inside that when shit hits the fan, there's one person who somehow knows how to make things better...the one person no one ever forgets...maybe God made our being this way...I have been known to have terrible, terrible memory...no focus...but somehow every now and then i suddenly remember something that happened that i am not sure if it did happen in the first place...i know this sounds weird...and contradicting but i think i somehow block out memories unknowingly and then many years later they come back and i have to do sanity checks to make sure they happened...so i guess making journals ain't such a bad thing...

In 'The Notebook', she loses her memory but when she sits in front of a piano, she just knows how to play it, and every now and then she'll 'come back' and remember the one she loves...then she'd go again...I guess my point is...If there's anything you love, you should keep doing it...you can read that in any way you want but it just makes sense....i see many people doing things they do not enjoy or like and it's sad to know that we spend so much of our time putting into memory what is more like a job than something you enjoy...and why the hell do i keep using 'you' when i write? argh...you see, i always write in 3rd person and somehow i think it shouldn't be...shouldn't a journal be in first person...arghh...well...you get my drift...there i go again...

I admire the people who are genuinely out there to help, they do the one thing they know makes their day...and when they go home, they separate themselve from their 'job' and live life...I guess we are putting too much effort into making money and making it out for ourselves that we don't really live...then what's the point? A job should just be there as a means to live...not the other way round...I guess i am guilty of taking my job too seriously that i forget sometimes the reason why i am doing it...so to put things into perspective and prioritize...God comes first, living second, family and friends...and a job is not even on the list...it's just a means...TO LIVE!!

Digression once again...but then it brings me back to my main point which is...we, at one time or another, take things for granted...and the thing is, whenever we do remember...put things into perspective...