Losing Steam...Losing Sleep...Losing S-team...
Why does it somehow still seems so far away...I know for a fact now that i make a very horrible son, brother, boyfriend, lover colleague and even friend...I'm very tired...I want to retire from life...My sis was trying to put together a family tree thingie and i realised how little i know about my past...and how many additions to the family i do not know about and how much i will never know...I miss my buddies and friends, i hope i can call you ever so frequently to just...chat...had a great time last night just catching up with Jenn...I am here for you Jenn...if you ever see this...and i'm really sorry...like i said before, you are indeed a very great friend i never want to lose and you've made me realise so much about myself and life...i always enjoy talking to you!
Went to Destin on Saturday with Zhiyu for some "retail therapy" and then to dinner with Pat's friend...who said..."you guys must NEVER say that again!" that being 'retail therapy' of cos...hmm...went for dinner at the fish house for friday dinner and met with Jarrod, Aleah's fiancee...very quiet guy...didn't talk much...Got some stuff for really good prices...spent about 100 bucks and got a pair of shoes, a pair of sandal shoes, a t-shirt, a long sleeve shirt and a pullover...I love shopping here...hahaha...
My life was just passing by so fast, i didn't stop to think about how much i was missing...after i put down the phone with Jenn last night, i really couldn't get some shut eye...was thinking about how my life has changed so much, the rollercoaster rides, the people i've neglected, the people i loved, could have loved and love...I thought about how God has answered my prayers back when i was laying in bed watching the ceiling fan in Boys' Town...but then again while being 'in' it, i do not realise it...i am no multi tasker, i suck at time management, and i always seem so bogged down with everything...tried to quit smoking...1st attempt here...survived for about 50+ hours...then couldn't take it anymore...
Thought about the people i've let slip...the people i've dissapointed, the people i've hurt...
I am such a scumbag...
Yes, i know, i know...
"i want to be a better person for you..." i mean it...but moreso now...i want to be a better person for me...been really moody lately, in one of those moods...need to exercise, smoke less and hold on to life...before it all slips away...
I just...for a moment...want to be alone and around and home all at once...never going to happen...but we can dream, can't we?
No more rhetorical questions...brain cannot take it...argh....time for some music....ciaoz
Jermz
Went to Destin on Saturday with Zhiyu for some "retail therapy" and then to dinner with Pat's friend...who said..."you guys must NEVER say that again!" that being 'retail therapy' of cos...hmm...went for dinner at the fish house for friday dinner and met with Jarrod, Aleah's fiancee...very quiet guy...didn't talk much...Got some stuff for really good prices...spent about 100 bucks and got a pair of shoes, a pair of sandal shoes, a t-shirt, a long sleeve shirt and a pullover...I love shopping here...hahaha...
My life was just passing by so fast, i didn't stop to think about how much i was missing...after i put down the phone with Jenn last night, i really couldn't get some shut eye...was thinking about how my life has changed so much, the rollercoaster rides, the people i've neglected, the people i loved, could have loved and love...I thought about how God has answered my prayers back when i was laying in bed watching the ceiling fan in Boys' Town...but then again while being 'in' it, i do not realise it...i am no multi tasker, i suck at time management, and i always seem so bogged down with everything...tried to quit smoking...1st attempt here...survived for about 50+ hours...then couldn't take it anymore...
Thought about the people i've let slip...the people i've dissapointed, the people i've hurt...
I am such a scumbag...
Yes, i know, i know...
"i want to be a better person for you..." i mean it...but moreso now...i want to be a better person for me...been really moody lately, in one of those moods...need to exercise, smoke less and hold on to life...before it all slips away...
I just...for a moment...want to be alone and around and home all at once...never going to happen...but we can dream, can't we?
No more rhetorical questions...brain cannot take it...argh....time for some music....ciaoz
Jermz
posted by Jeron & Sharmaine at 8/27/2006 03:50:00 pm
1 Comments:
cheer up!! time still goes on the ups and downs will be gone naturally.. isn't that apply to the problems of the past? You need to get your feet back once again to get everything right! or else.. things will never gonna be right..
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